Dating Tip of the Day

So my dating tip of the day comes from one of my worst, yet most productive dating experiences.  It's sort of like the cardio of dating for me.

Well it was the worst because I was embarrassed even though I really had no reason to be.  It was the most productive because I ended up in a relationship eventually because of that date.

Here's why I was so embarrassed.

So first of all to give you some back story.  There were these twins who really, really didn't like me in my high school.  They called me all sorts of derogatory names.  They had played a number of girls, which is still a mystery to me because a) they were ugly and b) they were tool bags so why any girl would want to date them is still a puzzle.  These girls combined forces and determined that to get back at these guys they would set me up with the girl that one of those tools had a crush on.  The guy heard about this and actually warned my date about this plot.

I pick her up with my best friend.  (Thank heaven for good wingmen.)  We go to pick up his blind date, her best friend.  We go to dinner at 7 and then go bowling.  We forgot to tell them that we were bowling and both wore sandals and the alley didn't sell socks.  Oops #1.  Communicate plans clearly to date.  We forgot that bowling with 4 people doesn't take long and we finished within a half hour.

As inexperienced 16 year olds, we decided that we were going to try to fill the time.  We decided to go back to my place and play pool on our family pool table.  Neither of them liked pool (and they told us so).  But we begged and they humored us.  Then it was about 9:30 after that was exhausted.  So then we scramble to find another activity and remembered my dad had keys to the local church building.  Anyone who knows Mormons know that basically any and all churches come standard with a basketball court.  We go to play some light basketball because my date was on the high school team.

That goes to about 10:30.  Then my date hears my wingman tell her that I play the organ.  She insists I play her a solo.  Awkward.  I only know hymns basically.  So the four of us are standing around in a chapel while I am playing the organ.  I finally quit and tell my buddy it's time to take them home. 10:45 p.m.

My buddy insists on using all of our date time and drives them around to look at houses.  By this point I am thinking, "Dang, it's too bad this date has sucked, because I would like to take this girl out again, but I am mortified at this horrible planning."  And we dropped her off.  I don't remember this but my date claims that I gave her a nice firm handshake on the doorstep.  This could be possible because I was pretty embarrassed.

Lesson learned: keep your first dates simple and short.  If you think things are going well then cautiously feel out activities.  If you don't have anything, don't waste your or your dates time.  Take them home.

So the most productive part, here it goes.

My buddy tells me he wants to ask her out.  I say whatever, go for it.  They are both at a State Fair a month later and she walks up to him and the first words out of her mouth are, "So when's Ike going to ask me out again?" He called me, excited for me (what a stud, right?) and tells me the news.  The rest was history until we decided to go steady, then we drove each other nuts and broke up.

The end.

"Spy" Remarkably Brilliant

I came across a Hulu ad for a web series named "Spy".  I watched it out of shear boredom I will admit! But continued to watch it out of love. It is a clever whip of a series about a bumbling divorced man who stumbles his way into a job that has predecessors with the likes of James Bond. Despite his cool new line of work, he cannot reveal his new gadgets, love, or missions to his son, who is arrogantly brilliant and eternally disdainful of his father. With only one season out, that is no hold up to the potential that this series has to continue to delight those fans of sometimes dry, situational comedy up there with the Office and Parks and Recreation.

4.5 out of 5 stars

Here is the first episode on Hulu to get you started.  Season 2 is exclusively on that website beginning Fall 2012.

A Color Palette For You

Something I think will help a lot of guys out is just new colors to help them build up courage. Many guys see two things that they think possibly could work and then they cower away from them in fear of a disdaining compliment.

First, DON'T! Style and fashion is about experimenting with what works with you. I call fashion one of the most difficult art forms because the medium (the human body, face and hair) all come in different colors, shapes and sizes.  In most cases designers (and consultants) only get to work with small, medium, large, x-large, etc...sizes to fit individual body shapes.  It can be difficult! Be brave!

Here's some inspiration for you:

This palette will work great with any skin tones.  So the basic elements are denim blue, burgundy red, a medium (heather) grey, a light blue shirt with white collar. Try it. Do it! Do it now!

Grey...

Here's a concept to think about.  Follow me on Pinterest.  That is all.

A Guide to Simple Suit Care

Let's hope you've taken my advice and have purchased your suit.  Now let's talk about taking care of it.

1.  Always hang up your suit.

 So I think it should be pretty common sense to hang up your suit.  However, somethings are important.  First, make sure that you hang up your pant according to the crease.  The crease of both legs of the pant should lie flat and be against the rod of the hanger.  Second, the hanger should be a wide hanger, 1.5 inches or wider in order to prevent destruction of the shoulder.  Cedar hangers are a nice touch to prevent moths and wick moisture.

2.  Invest in a Brush

Do not use a sticky fabric roller.  Fabric rollers will leave a residue on the suit that will cause dust and hair buildup in the future.  Using an inexpensive fabric brush will ultimately save in dry cleaning.

3.  Dry Clean (if possible) Less than Twice a Year

Chemicals in the dry cleaning process can cause the fibers of your suit to become brittle and wear.  However, if your suit has a stain or a spot or is dirty, please take it in.  No one wants to look like that dirt clod off of Charlie Brown.

4.  Travel

Travel without wearing your suit coat.  It will prevent wrinkles in sitting and buckling.  Make sure that your suit is always laying flat on top of whatever you may be hauling.  Or even better, if possible to hang it up.  Optimal travel would include taking a trash bag and punching the hanger through the top of the bag and tying it at the bottom to prevent dirty and dust from accumulating during travel.

5. Long Term Storage.

Invest in a suit bag ($5-$10).  Dry clean and brush your suit to make sure that oils and dust are removed.  Make sure that mothballs are proximal to the suit (and that humans and animals are not).  Air out before next wear.  However, suits are best worn and will maintain shape and fit better if worn regularly.

6.  Always Wear Your Jacket

It's important that whenever the suit is worn that pants are worn with the jacket.  Suits do fade or even darken over time as they are exposed to the sun and other elements.  If pants are worn often enough without the jacket, it can cause the pants to wear faster than the jacket and even become lighter.  (Pants are often the first thing to wear out anyway).  If I were to venture a guess, I would say that twice as much repair work is done to the seat of a pant than anywhere else on a suit.

7.  Invest in a 2nd Suit

Buying a second suit will automatically double the life of your first suit, and also double the life of the second suit.  Wool suits, when properly taken care of, will relax wrinkles out of them and other such self-maintenance.  But it requires time for the suit to do that, and by allowing time for it to air out will increase it's lifespan.

A well made suit can last for years.  I was an LDS Missionary for two years and wore my two suits constantly and still have them to this day.  Well made suits can last for years if properly taken care of.  So make your investment wisely.

Time to Suit Up!

Every man's must have is a suit.  I don't care what his schedule is like or if he lives in a barn, a suit is an important element of a man.  I used to work at a men's clothing store, Men's Wearhouse, and had many men come in a day before an interview, a cruise or a party in desperation to meet expected dress standards.  As time closes in, the chances of you finding something satisfactory decreases proportionally.  The time to look and think about your suit is now.  Here is a handy questionnaire to get you thinking before you get to the suit rack:

1.  Are you looking to replace or expand?

The question is simply this, is there a suit that you need to decommission?  If you are doing that while at the same time as shopping for a new one you are replacing.  A question to ask yourself in this instance, is do you want to find something similar?  (Did you absolutely love that suit?) Or are you looking to branch out into something new?

The second part of the question, are you looking to move from 1 to 2 suits?  Or even 0 to 1?  Or in my instance 6 to 7? (Don't judge.)  In this instance, it is important to take inventory of what you already have, and buy accordingly.


2.  What are your main suit wearing functions?

There are a few basic places where a man wears a suit.  Work, religious, social  or family functions.  Take inventory of everywhere you do (or should) wear a suit.  Think about the environment of those places.  Your suit should fit into those environments.  If you only have two places that you wear your suit and you feel like the environment is polar between the two, say funerals and clubs, it is possible to adapt a suit to both of those functions very easily (and economically).  But having both (and all) of those functions in mind are important when thinking about a suit.


3.  What accessories do you already have?

You can either make your suit buying experience very cheap, or very costly if you (fail) to plan your suit shopping experience.  Mostly by the accessories you plan to wear with your suit.  Take into consideration (the condition) of your shoes, dress shirts, ties, belts, and socks.  We are going to want all of these elements to coordinate with your suit.  For instance, if you buy a black suit, please, please, please, please do not wear it with brown shoes.  I may die.  Really.  But we'll talk about detail coordination later.

Now with those questions in your mind, let's look at options:

Color

The first thing to take into consideration is the color.  If you have a wide spectrum of functions in which you wear suits, my recommendation would be to stick to classic, conservative colors:  charcoal or navy.  Here are my reasons, they can be dressed up (classy) and dressed down (casual) more easily than black, brown, light grey or light brown with the accessories you put them with.  Also, maintenance in my experience is easier with those two colors.  They are appropriate to wear almost everywhere.  Now, you're thinking to yourself why not black?  Here's my reason.  Black is a heavy color that is typically associated with morticians, the CIA and nightclub bouncers.  It's very hard to casual down a black suit for say a business casual mingle.  Also, it's maintenance is difficult.  Everything shows on black.  Dust, lint, food, you name it, the fabric is always under maintenance.  You'll see why this is essential in the segment on suit care.

Fabric

Let me make a decision for you.  NO POLYESTER.  There, that was easy.  Why not?  God when He made the Earth was the ultimate designer, and made wool a very durable, breathing, good looking, easy maintenance and long lasting fiber.  Polyester on the other hand, a synthetic fiber invented by man, is literally a plastic, spun and woven into a textile.  It will not last as long as wool.  It is typically cheaper, for good reason.  It is the Great Value Peanut Butter of suit fabrics. (Yuck!)  If you choose wool, you also choose fewer bubbles, wrinkles and warping in your suit.  The fabric will become "shiny" (one of the signs to replace a suit) more quickly and will actually wear itself away as fibers rub against each other.  I don't care if it's a wool-poly blend.  No, no, NO!

Size

For size I would recommend that you visit a place such as Nordstrom's, Macy's or Men's Wearhouse to get a sizing.  These are great places to check out anyway.  So go and get a trained associate to size you.  They should put a tape measure around your shoulders and whole torso with the tape crossing the back and both nipples, that is called the overarm measurement and then they should take your underarm measurement or the tape measure going under the arms, over the nipples and back, and also your waist measurement or the tape measure going around your waste roughly 2-3 inches below the navel.  These three measurements in combination will determine what type of suit to get you into.

What?  There are multiple types of suits?  Yup, sorry, they are all adapted to fit different sizes.  Here we go:

The Standard:  The basic suit will have a shoulder measurement and then a waist measurement paired together, you cannot "swap" one pant of one standard suit for a suit coat of the same standard suit but in a different size pairing.  Each suit has what is called a drop or the drop from the size of the jacket to the size of the pant.  The typical drop of a standard suit is 6 inches.  So if the jacket size is 36R or a "36 regular", then the pant size will be a 30R.  These are built for the standard guy.

The Separate:  I own separates exclusively.  Not because I'm a snob or anything, or even that they are superior in anyway.  I have a large shoulder measurement 44L (or for some suits 46L) and a small waist measurement, 34L.  My drop would need to be nearly 10 inches, or 4 inches larger than any standard suit.  Can't you just tailor that out?  Yes, any talented tailor could.  But your rule of thumb is you want to pick a suit that fits well off the rack with minimal alterations.  Another reason is that if you were to take 4 inches out of the waist, you can only do that (economically) through the seat of the pant, which if you think about it, my front pockets would nearly be at the back of my pant.  That would look really messed up.  So what do you do instead?  You resort to a suit separate.  You can buy the jacket in one size, and the pant in another.  Another advantage to this method is that if I (heaven forbid) tore out the pocket of my pant or while escaping on skis from the KGB, tore a huge split in the fabric, I could just walk back into the store I bought it and buy just the pants in replacement as opposed to the whole suit.  It's a beautiful system.  (If you have a standard drop, this is also an option for you).

The Executive (or Portly) Fit:  For those gentlemen well endowed in the waistline, this is the option for you.  These suits have a smaller drop from shoulder to waist.  Many also have more room through the part of the coat that covers the waist.  These follow the rules of a standard suit.  You cannot mix and match pants between sizes.


Style

You'll see as you go to each store that there are many bells and whistles to a suit, but here are the basics to look for:

Buttons:  There can be 1-5 buttons on a suit.  My recommendation is to buy a 2-button suit.  They are the most classic and will last through different fads and style changes.  I also personally think they look better.  But, it's your preference.  My next recommendation after the 2-button is the 3-button.  Stay away from 3 or more buttons or 1 button suits, they are typically super-fad suits and will look tacky except in certain environments. Just remember, NEVER, EVER, EVER, button the bottom button of any suit, sport coat or tuxedo you wear.  I will come find you...

The Lapel:  The lapel is folded fabric that goes around the neck and makes a v in front of you with the point of the v meeting at the first button of the suit.  Each lapel will come with either a peak lapel:

Peak Lapel

or a notch lapel (or step lapel)

Notch Lapel

 Either are great styles.  Typically the peak lapel comes in and out in popularity with different styles.  The notch is just a little more classic.  Again, both are great options.

The Vent:  My recommendation here is take either of three options:  A single vent, or one slit in the bottom of the back of the coat.  A dual (or double) vent, or two slits in the sides of the bottom of the back of the coat.  Or a no vent, or no slits in the bottom of the back of the coat.  Any and all are great options and are according to your preference.

Single Vent                                 Dual Vent                               No Vent

 Price

 I have never purchased a suit after alterations for more than $300 dollars following all of the rules above.  Even without my employee discount at Men's Wearhouse.  I have never consulted the purchase of a suit to my client's liking for more than that sum as well.  You do not have to make a huge financial sacrifice to buy a suit.  But you should be looking in a range above $200 or I would be skeptical of the suit.  This is a department that you don't want to skimp on.


Some final thoughts:

*The fewer alterations you have to make the better!
--Some standard alterations are: the hem at the bottom of the pant, taking in the sides of the suit, taking in the seat of the pant.  Those things take tweaking, but a finely designed suit, you won't have to worry (or pay) for alterations.

*Shop around!  Don't make your first place you try your last unless if you are absolutely in love.  Have your helping associate write down the details of the suit on their business card or sticky note.  It's better to have more options in your mind to eliminate than the opposite.

*DO NOT purchase straight from the internet.  You want to try things on.  The number one element to a good looking suit is its fit.  It makes or breaks the way you look.  Many things that are on sale cannot be returned.  If you try on in a store and are sure you have found the identical match online for cheaper, go for it I suppose.

*LOVE what you buy.  What use is the number of a girl you never ask out?  It's useless.  The same is with a suit.  What's the use of a suit that you aren't interested in wearing?


Go HAVE FUN shopping.